Psalm 147:10-11

"His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love."

God doesn't delight in my performance, my abilities, or my performance.. but he delights in the condition of my heart - that fears him and hopes in His love.

Isaiah 41:9-10

"I haven chosen you and have not rejected you. so do not fear, for i am with you; do not be dismayed, for i am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

God chose the Israelites, a very ordinary people, amongst all the tribes He could have chosen. He chooses them not based on their might or strength but because He knows that His power will be recognized through their lives. His power become extraordinary in the lives of ordinary people. He chooses them so that all people will see and know that it is the Lord's hand working in their lives.

the story...

so adam and eve left the garden of eden and had children. cain didn't like abel, so he killed him. starting from adam/eve, sinfulness was passed onto cain/abel, and so on and so forth throughout all the offspring that came from them. all the humans lived without fearing God and lived in sinfulness, so God decided to bring forth a big flood to get rid of all living creatures except for noah & his fam and one pair of all animals. so the flood happened and everything/everyone died, except for noah b/c he found favor in God.

end of chapter one~

i wonder if i'd have been one of those people that got wiped out from the earth if i lived in those times.

King hezekiah becomes ill to the point of death; he prays earnestly; and God answers his prayer immediately and heals him - let's him live for anther 15 years. God allows circumstances to happen to sometimes position us with the right heart and attitude. God's plan was always to let hezekiah live for another 15 years, but when hezekiah faced death... it caused something to change in hezekiah's heart as he desperately depended on God.. which prepares him for what is about to happen next. (isaiah 38)

sometimes God allows things to happen to us so that He can shape our hearts and minds. even failures are sovereignly meant to shape who we are - NOT a permanent indicator of what we're worth.

"they will celebrate your ABUNDANT goodness" (psalm 145:7)

reflected on the ways God has answered my prayers and has faithfully led to me where i am now. i forget to give God the praise for His goodness in my life.. and it's abundant. He's extravagant in His goodness to us. HE goes above and beyond for us.

the story - chapter 1, part 1

hi hi anns
so i've been thinking that i need to read the bible at least once cover to cover. but i remember trying to do that in the past but i always never got past exodus. so... i was researching online for a good reading plan... but instead of a reading plan, i came across this book that formatted the bible into one seamless, chronological book. almost like a novel... except... it's not fiction... the description and the reviews on amazon seemed pretty promising, so i went to barnes & nobles today to check it out. and it's actually really nice. it's a nice thick book, kind of like harry potter sized except not as thick. i wouldn't mind carrying this around (i sometimes feel weird busting out my bible b/c it's so obviously a bible. like... anyone can tell that it's no ordinary book and for some reason i feel self conscious about it. like i'm trying too hard to look holy or something).
it doesn't have references to the actual verses of the bible within the text, but there's an appendix at the end that lists which chapter corresponds to which books/verses in the bible.
obviously i won't be substituting the reading of this book with actually reading the bible cover to cover. after i'm done with this book and i kind of have an idea of how things happened... i feel like it'll be less daunting for me to start the big project of cover->cover.

ok so anyway long intro there.
my actual blog entry today is really short & sweet (i'm only a few pages in so far):
God created the earth.  God created mankind in his own image. Adam and Eve were chosen by God b/c God wanted to build a relationship with them. they were blessed with paradise and God. "...so why would they want anything else?" <-upon reading this (it's a quote from the book) i felt sad. yeah, why would they want anything else? they had everything they could want, no? but.. they did. they were tempted and they gave in b/c they felt like there could be more that they could have (i.e. eat that desirable looking fruit) in addition to all that was given to them. as humans, we have so many/much desires and wants and greed. we always want more. we give into temptations so easily. we fall short... we're sinful.

psalm 143

psalm 143

the psalmist believes in a God who not only RESPONDS to us but answers us quickly. do i expect that when i pray, He will literally answer me or do i expect that my prayers will get lost in some infinite abyss? haha. need to have more trust that God hears me and will respond to me during this time of fasting and prayer.

job 20, 21, 22

hi :)

job 20 - it's yet again another chapter of job's frienemy telling him about how only wicked people suffer. he goes on about how wicked people deserve punishment. this ultimately makes job a wicked person too, because he's undergoing a massive punishment at the moment.

job 21 - job answers his frienemy that actually, the wicked do indeed prosper. job says that there's tons of God-less people who live happily and with wealth, without having to suffer from God's judgment. job tells his friend to stop telling him stuff about how job must be suffering b/c only the wicked suffer... b/c it's not helping him feel better.

job 22 - it's pretty much the same thing in this chapter too... another one of job's frienemies telling him stuff that will only make him feel worse. he says a wicked man is of no use to God.

the book of job is so long! i'm still only halfway through.

anyway, some thoughts-
job's friends are really messed up for telling job that his sufferings must originate from his wickedness... b/c job is not a wicked man!
but as for me, i'm NOT a not-wicked person. i AM a wicked person. therefore, what job's friends were saying about wicked people - i feel like that all applies to me. i deserve to be punished, i deserve to have everything taken away from me, i deserve to be very very low on God's "people to love" list. so when i was reading chapter 20 and 22 (where job's frienemies describe the toils the wicked will have to go through) i kept getting nervous and guilty because i felt like those things will eventually be inflicted upon me too.
i know you and i talked about how this kind of attitude is NOT right... how God loves us ALL people... but it's so hard to break away from this self-deprecating mindset. :(

Psalm 92. Isaiah 2.

"it is GOOD to praise the Lord.. to proclaim your love and faithfulness"
reminds me that we, as humans, have been CREATED to be worshippers. when we begin to praise God.. something feels right. in order. natural. like we were meant to do this. since being discouraged from my exam.. i haven't felt that in a while. i want to be amazed by God again and compelled to praise. i miss that genuine worship. i can sense myself losing that genuine desire to worship God and appreciate Him because ive been so unsure of myself and my future these days. wondering what God is up to and what He's doing with my life. i can sense myself losing trust in Him at times. why do i doubt him so easily? need to develop a steadfast faith.
"senseless men and fools do not understand; the wicked will spring up..."
though ungodly ppl seem to flourish quickly.. remember that their ultimate fate is destruction. it's easy for me to be envious of ppl who are living in prestige and wordly success and prosperity.. wondering if that's the kind of life i should strive for too. as if that's where real satisfaction is - me being so performance-oriented and finding joy in the results of my hard work/effort. BUT God says that those who are living wordly lives may seem prosperous but ultimately, their lives will amount to nothing - death and destruction is where they'll end up. i should consider msyelf so blessed because he says the the "righteous will flourish.. and bear fruit in old age.. and stay fresh and green." a picture of LASTING propserity. in Him. it's hard to believe, but i want to believe it.